Restroom Van Gogh

Ok, here it is.
The start of something special.

No, I don't mean "special ed." special.
I mean you’re in for a treat.

This is the day I choose to open my endless ranting to the World Wide Web. And please, don't get me started on the whole Internet thing. There will be plenty of time for that later. Just let me warm up a bit.

Today I was getting some shopping done (cc: beer run) when I had to use the bathroom. Now normally something so simple and in some people's minds, rather disgusting would not be worth mentioning but trust me on this one.

So I head to the public restrooms, find and empty stall and step in. Ill refrain from describing to you what took place next but it brought something to my attention that I just needed to come home and get off my chest.

What is it about a public restroom stall that gives any and every moron the inspiration to write. There is not a stall in the U.S. that does not have the scribblings of some genius to the note of; 'Mike is Gay' or an attempt at a graphic picture.

OH look! I have a pen in my pocket, or a key! I think Ill carve my name into the wall so I am forever immortalized in the local Walmart’s restroom! What if I write something funny so that when ever someone sits down here they get a little chuckle.

Quick question, check the bathroom in your house. Do you generally write on those walls? Or do you carve a picture in your buddy’s bathroom wall when you go over to watch the ball game? I didn’t think so, but just in case you do, do the rest of us a favor and go play in traffic on the interstate.

News Flash: People do not come into a public restroom to read your remarks, most of which are too stupid to bother having been written in the first place. You are NOT funny, unless of course you actually ARE on the payroll for a big TV sitcom in which case you can afford to be sued for defacement of private property.

I don’t know who ‘Mike’ is and I really don’t care that you think he is gay. Frankly I think its better that you AND Mike stay in the closet. I’ll even prop a chair on the outside to keep you in there if I have to.

If you have enough time on your hands to decide it’s a GOOD idea to write something stupid on a bathroom wall then you need to be taught the meaning of the phrase S*** or get off the pot.